I always knew I wanted to breastfeed my children so when I was completely unsuccessful with my first born, it broke my heart. I made a vow to myself that no matter what, I wouldn't let it happen again. When I had Aubrey Grace I was quickly reminded of all the things that made breastfeeding hard the first time but, I was determined not to give up. As it turns out, it was totally worth the fight!
Aubrey was born at home but, due to me having a very major hemorrhage, we ended up in the hospital before I could get her truly latched and nursing. While they were dealing with my situation, Aubrey's blood sugar was at a very low level and needed she to be fed so yes, she was given formula. I was made aware of it afterward and knew that our breastfeeding relationship might already be off to a bad
It wasn't until Aubrey was about seven hours old that I finally had the opportunity to nurse her. It was such a sweet moment for us both as she latched on after only a few tries. I could feel right away however, that she had an improper latch and noticed that she was tucking in her top lip. I knew the fact that her mouth was so tiny could also be affecting her latch so I was a little worried. Sure enough by the next day I was quite sore and by day two, I was cracked, peeling and in a huge amount of pain.
We did get a lactation consultant involved who advised me to just pump and latch her on only with a nipple shield for a couple days so that I could heal. There I was having to reintroduce the bottle. It's not that I never wanted Aubrey to take a bottle on occasion. After all, I did want her Daddy & sissy to be able to experience feeding her but, I was worried that introducing it so early on would cause nipple confusion. It wasn't long before she was wanting to eat more than I could pump so, in came the formula again. I was SO bummed out but, saw hope in the fact that it was only a few bottles a day and at least the majority of what she was eating was breast milk. I was also still grateful to be nursing her even if I did need a little help. I was determined that eventually, Aubrey would only get breast milk no matter what it took! At that point I had to create a new goal of getting my supply up so as to not need to supplement with any formula.
Breastfeeding has been everything I thought it would be. I love and cherish those moments where Aubrey's nursing while looking so deeply into my eyes. I stroke her soft hair and just relish in all the love we're sharing. It's like a silent communication between the two of us. It truly is a beautiful thing and I'm so glad I didn't give up.