There are so many demands placed on mothers. Not only are there tons of social pressures, but also the cooking, the cleaning and the habit of placing others needs ahead of our own just to name a few. Not easy is it girls? But let's not get things twisted here, there are also many amazing and wonderful things about motherhood. That being said, sometimes we as moms are conditioned to feel guilty and ashamed when it all gets overwhelming and it does!
I mean, really, how many times did you have "one of those days" where if you heard "mommy" one more time, you where going to scream? How many times did you run into someone or speak to someone on the phone the very same day your kids were making you nuts and you acted like everything was just peachy? You even found yourself stating you're just sad you didn't have 6 more pray they don't see right through you! lol, Come on, we can't keep pretending it's all glitz and glamor! It's okay to admit that thing's aren't always perfect.
When the days get crazy, the phone's ringing, the baby's crying and wanting to be nursed for the 5th time in two hours, your older one's are fighting, laundry's fallen behind, some little hand is tugging at you, you're realizing you're going to be late to take Susie to her ballet class, someone's got a booboo, someone's nose needs to be wiped, someone's diaper needs to be changed, someone wants to be held, someone wants a sandwich AAAHHH! Mom's do you sometime feel smothered by it all?
Lets face it, when mama's not happy, NOBODY'S happy! Mom's, you need to have "me time". I know you've heard it before. Yes, it's easier said than done but, something needs to happen! It's so important for your emotional, mental and spiritual well being. Just the same way you plan out doctor's visits, map out the budget for the month or plan your meals a month in advance, get just as serious about scheduling your "me time". You need it and that's okay!
My tips are a mixture of things I do personally and as well as great advice passed on to me from great moms. One's gotta stick right?! Something that I've found to be true is, the way you start your day off will usually affect your mood for the rest of the day. Now this may not be doable for you moms who are up 5 times a night with your babies but, try getting up about an hour before everyone else does, make sure you hydrate, eat and do what you wish you could if you had the time! For some, it might be yoga, for others, it might be finally getting to sit down with some tea or coffee and continuing that book you never finished a year ago (like me haha). What ever it may be, create that time and space for YOU.
Tip #2 Which I feel should be #1 and I do personally is get active! Exercise is one of the best ways to relieve tension and hello, we should ALL be doing it anyway. I'm not saying go kill yourself in the gym and not be able to move the next day. Besides, that would be really counter productive. Maybe you can start off by asking hubs to hold down the fort for a half hour and pop in a good workout dvd. Or just go for a nice power walk around the block. Remember, something is better than nothing. You'll feel so good about yourself, be strengthened physically and your ego will sure get strengthened in a few weeks when you look in the mirror!
Tip #3 Say yes to babysitting offers! Please don't be one of those mom's who NEVER lets anyone watch your kids. Obviously I'm talking good, trustworthy people. If grandma has said on more than one occasion "call me anytime" and you haven't, you are giving up precious opportunities to have a date with hubby, a little retail therapy with your girls or that mani/pedi you so desperately long for! Now don't go taking a mile when you've been given an inch by calling people every other day and then leaving for hours on end, but when someone offers, you say "that would be great!" "Are you free on Saturday?" Don't feel bad about accepting help!!!
For now, I'll leave you with those three, but more than anything I want you to remember YOU. Feeling overwhelmed and smothered is not only common, but normal. YES, you are normal! No more feeling like a bad mother because you needed to hide from your kids for five minutes. No more guilt, no more shame and no more neglecting you! It's okay to need some space sometimes. Find time for yourselves because deprivation is never good for anyone and you'll see how things feel much easier to manage in the end. Make this a priority starting today!
Mamas, what are some things you do for yourselves? Don't hold in all the good secrets!