Monday, May 2, 2011

"Flawless Mommy: Another Added Pressure On Moms..."

Posted by Andria at 7:10 PM

Working and Stay at home moms alike have a lot on their plates, taking care of the kiddos AND the hubbys. Usually they do the bulk of the shopping, cooking, cleaning and another hundred little things. In the midst of all this it's no wonder so many moms simply put hair, makeup and sometimes even clean clothing at the bottom of the priority list. In a world where there's undeniably a certain kind of awe for moms who manage to look flawless like some chick out of a Pantene commercial, perfectly groomed and made up, wearing high heals and all the while carrying a baby on their hip, has it led to a new kind of pressure for the everyday mom? Not only that but should it matter? And if it should how much importance should be placed on the issue without being totally unreasonable? I have my own opinions on this subject but I wanted to know where others stood on the matter so I visited a few forums and read comments like these...

"it screams of someone who doesn't have any respect for themselves or the way that they look. I dare someone to go into a board room with p.j. pants on and expect anyone to take them seriously."

"When a husband comes home to a woman who has let herself - and her home - go, he sees that she's given up on her responsibilities as the wife and home maker. He takes that as a slap in the face, and a woman who does so should accept the risk that her indifference to her appearance and her role may cause damage to the marriage itself."

OUCH!!! I really find that extreme. Um, what about the fact the she could just be going through something emotional? Or what if she, like so many other moms, is just completely overwhelmed?! Man, are we quick to jump to conclusions or what? And in my oppinion, anyone who would allow something like that to dictate the future of their marriage instead of being supportive to their spouse is frankly a JERK! Just my humble oppinion :)

*WHERE I STAND: In my early adult years I simply can't deny that I adopted the "I refuse to become the stereotypical mom" mindset out of nothing more than pure vanity. Just being real. I vowed I would never let myself go no matter what!" Good goal (yes, I believe it is) but the mindset, the attitude and the true reasons behind it were dead wrong. Even then, I had great empathy for a new mother's challenges and always tried not to judge but, when it came to my own personal appearance, the fear of being judged was my main motivation. I had succumed to the pressures of society for sure!

Over a short amount of years, emotional and spiritual growth, getting a little older and good old experience in motherhood, Ive shifted my reasons for why I do what I do. I personally am someone who's looks will affect their mood. If I'm not "putting my best face forward" as they say, I feel it. On the other hand, when I do put aside 20/30 minutes for myself to get ready for the day, I find it makes a big difference in how I feel. I just feel better! For that reason I believe when a mom chooses to get made up, it should be because it makes HER feel good. It should be because it gives you a confidence boost and not because society thinks you should look like Victoria Beckam or Kelly Ripa! This is where I stand on the matter now.

The truth is, my routine hasn't changed but, my reasons have. I'm neither "obsessed" with my looks, nor do I feel comfortable leaving my house without makeup and looking frumpy. That's just me though. I'm just a girly girl who actually enjoys these types of things lol! That's not to say that I walk around pristine and perfect 24/7 either. I have my days like anyone else ;)

I just feel like for all the things I do for everyone else, I deserve to have that time to do something for me and to do something that helps me feel good about myself. Everyone deserves that. And YES, I do feel like you can be a mom and still be your best you but, A, I think we as a society need to broaden what that really means, and B, we need to do it for the right reasons, not because of pressure.

I think when we're looking at other mothers, we have to remember that they have different priorities and livestyles. Regardless of appearances, moms deserve a standing ovation for the incredible job they do of taking care of their families! But just remember moms, take care of you too! I believe all mothers need to find that one thing that makes them feel good and do it unapologetically as long as it's with reason. That might be getting in shape, making time for a day at the spa once in a while or it could be something as simple as having your toes done. It'll be different for most of us. Either way do it for you and not someone else! In the end, I think the old saying is true, "If mama's not happy, ain't nobody happy"! We mothers are pure, untampered with, unphotoshopped, raw beauties just because of who we are. Moms, you ARE beautiful



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3 comments:

Kimberley on May 9, 2011 at 3:08 PM said...

Hi. Thanks for following my blog. I'm now following you as well. Have a great day :)

1955nurse on May 20, 2011 at 12:49 AM said...

I've come to realize that most of those "Flawless Moms" (especially those in the media!) have full-time maids, nannys, gardeners etc. And those around you that "LOOK" flawless? I guarantee that there's more there than what you're seeing......Let's face it - kids are MESSY - that's the way they learn, and in order to keep up w/it all WE might get just a bit messy, too -- but it's certainly worth it!

andria21 on May 21, 2011 at 6:20 PM said...

Totally agree! There IS always more than meets the eye. Its sad that some out there purposely create a facade. I think whether we're into primping or not we should be open and supportive of other moms out there :) And yes, mothering certainly can be a messy job!

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