Tuesday, September 21, 2010

"I Never Thought I'de Do It"

Posted by Andria at 1:13 PM

I don't know what is is about 2010, but as I've said in earlier posts, this is to be a year of many changes and that's turned out to be very true. A huge example of this is that we are now homeschooling our daughter. How in the world did that happen?! Well I guess I should go back for a moment. Since Aizlynn was about 3, I had starting having a weird nagging feeling about her inevitably having to start school soon. It wasn't so much that whole "my baby's going to be away from me for HOURS" thing, although like any mother of 1, this did naturally cross my mind. I was also having worries about the main focus of the education, class size, will she have a decent teacher, will she get "lost" or left behind, will her strengths be nurtured, will her weaknesses be ignored, what about the children she'll be around 7 hrs a day and the list went on and on and ON! It had dawned on me that I was not liking the fact that I felt like I had no say or control over her education or even her learning environment. I guess that makes me a control freak ,but ...... I really don't feel bad about wanting some control in that area of my child's life. I REALLY don't. Over protective? Maybe. Anyway, I tried to put away those thoughts (tried), brushed them off and placed her in school. She went through preschool and then kindergarten. Now, I'll try to sum this up the best way I can or this will post will be way to long. Here we have a child who was/is extremely smart and excelling academically. She was already on the honor roll and received awards and all that good stuff yet she was also the child who was in trouble almost every day for talking and being disruptive. This poor child was placed at a desk, by herself, separated from her classmates, in the far corner of the room for the majority of the school year. Why? Because she wasn't being stimulated enough. Plain and simple. Of course I as a parent along with DH would have to talk to her every day about it, discipline, take away privileges and so on. We even got together with the school councilor and her teacher to have her put on a special behavioral chart! Looking back, I (sadly) spent the majority of my daughter's kidergarten year punishing her, grounding her and trying everything I thought was best to get her to stop talking in class! What a sad, sad thing... Such a short and precious time in a childs life being wasted instead of cherished and celebrated. There were too many tears shed that year for the both of us. I think about the confusing messages she received. As a five year old being told you're good because you're smart & have good grades ,but at the same time, you're bad and deserve to sit alone and even placed in the classroom next door sometimes and then when you come home, Mommy and Daddy are going to be ONCE AGAIN upset with you. Do you see where I'm going with this? That could NOT have been good for her self esteem. There are so many other little things that happened with the kids and with some teachers that had really bothered me but I'm not gonna get into that. The conclusion to all this is that during the summer, DH and sat down, had a heart to heart and said "Lets try this", "lets home school". I have to say that I was one of those people that thought homeschooling families were all weird, overly religious families that liked to keep their kids under a rock. I also had concluded that ALL kids that were homeschooled were strange, awkward and no clue about what was "cool". I had based that judgement on the ONE home schooled kid I met at church when I was 14. Now here we were homeschooling our child lol! As I had started to talk to others since I had no idea on how the heck i was gonna go about this, I quickly realized how many people out there were doing the same thing I was! What a felief that was for me! Either that or there were tons of people that would say things like "I don't blame you", "yeah, my sisters homeschooling her kids" or even the shocking "You are? Thats great"! I recieved tons of positive support, had a coworker who had homeschooled all three of his kids so he was great for advice and last but not least, my stepmother is a teacher. It was perfect! We are 1 month into the process and absolutly loving this. I was afraid that we would be in over our heads but it has been easy for us. So yup, I'm officially a homeschooling mom and our family is something I never thought we'de be, a homeschooling family. Don't know how long we'll do it but I know that we'll do it as long as it's working for us as a family and more importantly as long as it is working for Aizlynn.


The Epsteens on September 21, 2010 at 3:58 PM said...

Welcome to the dark side ;)

Homeschooling is a wild ride and definitely an adventure. It's not for everyone but I, too, share some of your concerns and fears. We have been "officially" homeschooling for four years now and we can't imagine doing anything else. Good luck and have fun!!!

Amber@ClassicHousewife on September 24, 2010 at 8:20 PM said...

I know that feeling because that's a lot like the feeling that I had in the beginning. It's not that I couldn't handle separating from my child or that I thought my child would be completely ruined but it's just that I really wanted to be in control over their learning environment, their learning material, and more than that I just wanted to be the one that got to teach them so many interesting things. I felt like as their parents we already are their teachers, we just get to decide if we're going to delegate some of their schooling and I didn't want to delegate it. ;)
I didn't know if it was going to work, if I was going to keep doing it, if I could handle it when we added a 2nd and then a 3rd child.. I just took it one year at a time. Each year at the beginning of the school year I couldn't stand the thought of sending them off to public school, I really wanted to keep going so I did. Now I've completely crossed the line from "one year at a time" to "we're definitely going all the way!"

I admit, some years have been harder (two year old's under foot for example) but like The Epsteens I can't imagine doing anything else! It's an adventure that's a fun and wild ride but totally worth it. =)

Post a Comment