Well, I will have to wait until next cycle, but yes, it's true! I don't quite know where to start when it comes to this subject because there's so much I could say. I suppose I should start from the beginning. I, for whatever reason have had just the craziest emotions about having another baby for the past two years. On the one hand, I'm a very maternal person who would LOVE another child but on the other hand, I was struggling with feelings of doubt, fear and guilt. Yes, guilt. I kept going through the whole "well, this month isn't good because"... (fill in blank with something totally stupid) and "Now's really not a good time because"... I came to the realization that I was afraid of change. As for the guilt, I felt guilty that I would be making Aizlynn the "big girl" and no longer the baby. I know it's dumb now but I honestly felt as if I would be taking something away from her. My husband was always up for having another baby. He's been very patient in letting my sort through my thoughts and feelings for as long as I needed to and has always left it up to me to be "ready".
So what's changed? Well, Ive first and foremost done a lot of praying about it and have really made sure that I wasn't just trying to fill some sort of void (like I've unfortunately seen some moms do). After talking to Aizlynn and seeing her excitement at the thought of becoming a big sister and having some deep heart to hearts with Jeff, I really feel at peace and even happy about it now. DH is absolutely thrilled at the thought which is so cute to see :) I feel good about it. I've got all my ducks in a row, money already put away for whatever is needed, vitamins, folic acid & DHA on the counter ready for use and an extra room ready for a precious baby to fill it. We will be hard at work in August (hehe) and hopefully we can achieve our goal on the first try. I would really love to try for a spring birth. Well, wish me luck everyone!